


Bi Trans Squad Squared

by ThymeAtlas



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Genderfluid Jade, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Misgendering, Trans Character, Trans Dave, Trans Karkat, Trans Rose, we're all gay here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:52:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6974251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThymeAtlas/pseuds/ThymeAtlas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave had heard a lot about Karkat before he actually met him: a shouty person Terezi friendzoned in middle school, Kanaya's grumpy friend who likes romcoms, one of John's classmates that briefly hit on him. It takes a while to actually meet the guy, but not actually that long to put together they're all the same person.</p><p>Or: a bunch of kids in high school try to figure out gender and sexuality and romance but not necessarily grades.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bi Trans Squad Squared

**Author's Note:**

> i just read homestuck for the first time in my life & i immediately needed to write a davekat fic. everyone is trans and also gay except for john. idk why it's so funny to me that john's the only cishet in their friend group but it cracks me up every time. i love him tho. i love that boy.  
> anyway here's a couple thousand words of me heavily projecting onto dave strider. i love him like i have loved no other, i relate to him as only a depressed, avoidant, overcompensating, trans gay teen can.
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> in this au dave lived with bro through middle school, at which point he ran away/CPS got involved & now he's living with rose at roxy's. there are references to bro's abuse, but it isn't discussed in detail.  
> dave & rose have both been out as trans (or at least have been living as their actual genders, most ppl think dave is a cis guy) since they were young kids, but karkat doesn't figure out his gender stuff/come out as a guy until the middle of freshman year. he's misgendered by people when they don't know he's a guy, but not after he comes out.  
> canon-compliant homophobic language, stereotyping, internalized homophobia and ideas of masculinity, which stops as the characters get older and learn more.
> 
> this is mainly a happy au so i didn't want to put too much sad & triggering stuff in it, but dave's abusive childhood strongly shaped who he is as a character. i also wanted to capture that feeling of figuring out your gender stuff in the middle of high school after people have known you as one gender for so long, which is never fun but it can work out!!
> 
> whoo boy these notes were long. anyway, enjoy!

You had been hearing about Karkat long before you actually met him.

 

When you and Terezi were doing whatever the fuck it was you were doing, you had asked if there were any exes you needed to worry about. She had grinned in a way that seemed to say “Dave you’re ridiculous who has scary exes in middle school” but all she said was that she had kind of friendzoned a girl whose “bark was worse than her bite.” You’d just stared at her blankly, which is hard to convey through sunglasses, and asked if she was a furry.

She had laughed so loud you were almost scared and said, “No, she just shouts a lot. Besides, you’re friends with the furry, remember?”

You said, “Okay, fair,” because Jade did spend half her time wearing those dog ears on a headband and the other half sleeping. She always did her homework 5 minutes before it was due and was still getting As in every class. Since then though, for the rest of the time you were “dating” in 7th grade and just hanging out in 8th, “Shouty McFriendzone” became sort of an inside joke. Now Terezi’s dating a girl who does actually look like she could kill someone, so you probably think it was good that you stopped going out when you did.

 

Rose and Kanaya had been friends throughout middle school with very obvious crushes on each other that they wouldn’t actually act upon until sophomore year. Kanaya was at your house a lot, so you heard about her “best friend Karkat, who’s kind of an asshole but really a sweetheart that loves romcoms” fairly often. Sometimes the girls would invite you to go to movies with them, but the thought of best friend asshole romcom thirdwherling cracked you up enough to never accept. Also, all the movies they went to were either intellectual shit that you knew you wouldn’t be able to decipher or romance movies that you were way too cool to like. Your persona in middle school was hard to crack, but hell if your Bro didn’t try. You don’t want to think about that, though. You spend a lot of time not thinking about your Bro.

 

You didn’t have any classes with Karkat freshman year either, but John did, and as you stole fries off his lunch tray on the first day of school he said “I think this lesbian in my English class is trying to hit on me” in a bewildered sort of way. At this point you had been living with Rose and Roxy long enough to be reexamining how you thought of gayness, so instead of laughing you asked “why do you think she’s a lesbian if she’s hitting on you?”

John kind of shrugged, and you love the guy but damn if he wasn’t such a Straight Boy when he was younger, and said, “I don’t know. She has short hair and kinda small breasts and wears guy clothes? Ugh, when I say it like that I sound homophobic. Dave am I being homophobic?” but you weren’t really listening because by now giant lights were in your head saying “Obviously another trans kid!!! It’s not just you and rose anymore!!!”

“What’s this kid’s name?” you asked, cutting off John.

He shrugged again. “Something Vantas? You know I’m bad at names.”

 

While you knew “Something Vantas” wasn’t in any of your classes, you thought you saw them in the hall sometimes. They were short and a little chubby, and they always looked tired and grumpy. Not that you couldn’t relate, but at least you hid the bags under your eyes with the cool shades John got you. Some teachers were annoyed by that but Roxy somehow got the school to allow you to wear them in class. You were grateful that your bullshit red anime villain eyes weren’t on display for all to see, but you were still kind of embarrassed that your mom put up such a fuss.

Every time you saw Vantas in the hall you hoped on some level that they’d somehow know you were trans too, even if that was totally at odds with your want to pass and the fact that nobody but your close friends and family knew. You were pretty sure that you were, but you still weren’t positive, and you always felt weirdly invasive whenever you thought about it. Didn’t stop you though.

 

At around the end of freshman year Rose dragged you to a QSA meeting with her. It was the day after you two had stayed up late talking philosophy and existential angst and at around one in the morning you had said “I think I might be bi.”

You _knew_ you were, actually, had been thinking about it for most of the year. You had been away from Bro for long enough that you were able to sort through some of the shit he pumped into your head about what it means to be a man, and you had come to terms with the fact that you would never live up to his ideals. You were also starting to think that maybe that was a good thing. Mainly you were nervous about coming out to your friends, even though no one had a problem with Kanaya, who’s a lesbian, and Rose, who at that point thought she was bi too.

“Yesss…” said Rose, who was getting tired at that point, eyes half-lidded. “Bi Squad.” You were both lying on her bed, your head on her chest. She was playing with your hair with one hand and absentmindedly scrolling through Tumblr with the other.

“I thought we were Trans Squad,” you said, smiling into her night shirt.

“We’re both. Bi Trans Squad Squared. BTSS.” She pronounced the acronym like a cymbal clap.

“That acronym sucks.”

 

She and Kanaya had been going to the QSA every Wednesday at lunch for about half the year, and she’d asked you to go a couple times but had never been pushy. This time was different.

“Come on Dave, you need more gay friends. You need more friends period.”

“I have three whole best friends,” you said, and she sighed like you were the most pathetic person in the world. “Kanaya and I are chill. Terezi’s bi. And her scary girlfriend.”

“When was the last time you talked to them.”

“Um.”

“They’re all in the QSA, come on. Karkat will be there too.”

You looked at her blankly.

“Kanaya’s romcom friend. You know.”

“Oh. Right.”

So you went. Jade went too, apparently Rose was also dragging her along. You’d been having the feeling that she might not have been straight for a while, but she’d never said anything and you didn’t want to push. Maybe she felt the same way about you. John also went, and as much as you complained that this was making it too much into a party you were kind of glad.

“Oh,” said John, when he saw Something Vantas sitting next to Kanaya. “That’s Karkat Vantas.”

“Hi Dave,” said Kanaya. “This is Karkat Vantas.”

“Uh,” you said eloquently. “Hi Karkat.”

“Hi Dave,” said Karkat, and then: “Jesus Christ, why is it such a party in here?”

“So you’re the romcom friend,” you said, taking the adjacent chair.

“And you’re the too-cool-for-romcoms friend. Glad we got that cleared up. Hi John.” John had just sat next to you.

“Hi,” said John.

“Allying it up, huh?”

“Yes!” he said proudly. “I love to support my friends and their sexualities!”

You sighed. You love the guy, but Jesus Christ.

“You really hit on him?” you whispered to Karkat, who turned a little red.

“Obviously that was before I realized he was the straightest guy to ever exist.” John heard him because Karkat isn’t exactly quiet, and awkwardly apologized. Karkat laughed. Mostly you were just happy that you were right and this guy was trans. It made you feel a little less alone, which is really cheesy but still true.

“Do I apologize for thinking he was a girl?” John asked you quietly at one point, and you shook your head.

“Don’t do it again and you’re fine.”

Everyone went around the circle saying their names and sexualities and genders (Vriska, bi; Terezi, pan; Rose, bi trans girl; Kanaya, lesbian; Karkat, gay trans guy) and when it was your turn you were feeling good enough with the group to say “Dave, bi trans dude.” And then: John, straight; Jade, bi, and she was smiling at Rose and you felt a little left out but that was okay.

You and Karkat got into an argument over movie taste that got you scolded within five minutes, but you were definitely friends now, so. Net gain. Terezi bumped your shoulder as you left the room at the end of lunch, which definitely wasn’t an accident because she was holding onto Vriska’s arm and had probably asked her to steer her into you.

“Friends with Shouty McFriendzone now, huh?”

“That was Shouty?” you asked. “Why on earth would you friendzone him?”

 

Sophomore year was good. You had a few classes with Karkat and you became pretty close friends: going to his house to play videogames, making fun of his shitty art, being made fun of for your shitty art, watching some of his romcoms that you had to begrudgingly admit were good, making some sick music together, calming him down when he started to get too worked up. You met another one of his good friends, Gamzee, this weird ass guy who drank a lot of shitty offbrand soda and never washed his hair. You could never tell if he was actually stoned, or just one of those guys where the pot is already built into the personality. He and Karkat had known each other forever; it was obvious with how comfortable they were with each other, how touchy they could be, the inside jokes they would think of at exactly the same time. You got jealous about it, even though you logically knew that you were probably the same way with John, with all of your group actually. You used to be less so with Jade, because you knew she had a crush on you, but she’d gotten over that almost a year ago, so you were perfectly fine with leaning on her now or letting her braid your hair or fill it with clips.

Rose had realized she was a lesbian around the beginning of sophomore year, and she and Kanaya had started dating a few months later. They were a really good couple, and you could tell how happy they were, and that made you a little jealous too, even though you constantly felt guilty about it. You’d realized two days after meeting that you had a crush on Karkat, and you tried to ignore it and also not weird him out. You still hadn’t known him that long and you constantly were over-analyzing what the proper form of interaction was supposed to be.

 

You were sleeping over at his house one night, and you’d stayed up way too late watching movies. It was around three in the morning and you were both sitting on the couch, staring glassy-eyed at the screen, yawning every three minutes. You’d been leaning against each other for the last movie and a half, and your brain was screaming at you so much about the warm contact of thigh-to-thigh and shoulder-to-shoulder that you could barely pay attention. Over the course of the movie, Karkat’s weight on you grew until you eventually tipped sideways and he was lying asleep on top of you. You didn’t want to move him to get the remote because this may have been the greatest moment of your life, so after the credits rolled you just let the music of the select screen play over and over until you fell asleep too, one arm around him, his face in your neck. When you woke up he was turning off the TV but he was still snuggled against you. You pretended to be asleep as he settled back down. In the morning your entire body ached from the worst sleeping position in the world, but it was 100% worth it.

 

The four of you were hanging out at your house, but Rose and John had gone out to buy some snacks so you and Jade were sitting in your room, watching YouTube poops on your phone because you were too lazy to get out your laptop.

“Hey Dave?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

She was quiet for a second. On your phone screen Mario jumped off a building.

“How did you… you know. Figure out your gender stuff?”

“Oh,” you said.

“Because sometimes I really don’t feel like a girl. But what even is a girl supposed to feel like?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Shit. It’s weird.”

“But sometimes I know I am a girl and it makes me feel like all the times I think I don’t I’m just overreacting or I’m giving into misogyny or whatever because I don’t want to be a girl on those days.”

You paused the video and turned to look at her. “Jade, you are the least misogynistic person in the world. If all of the brains of the great feminists were fused together and then put into the body of a fifteen-year-old furry, it would be the shittiest version of you possible because you’re so much better.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled, but didn’t say anything.

“Look,” you said, “I know about being a guy because that’s who you actually are. I also know about acting out a role as a guy that is entirely based on shitty stereotypes about masculinity, and I promise you that those things are totally different. If some days you don’t feel like you’re a girl, it isn’t because you hate women. It’s because some days you’re not a girl.”

“I know,” she said, leaning against you. “I just… I feel guilty when I still like wearing dresses on the days where I’m not a girl, and I feel guilty that sometimes I feel like a girl at all. I think I just need some more time to think about it all. I just realized this a couple days ago.”

“Damn,” you said. “It took me ages to work it all out. You’ll be fine. If you ever want to talk…”

She smiled at you again, and hit the play button on the video.'

 

You didn’t usually go to QSA because that wasn’t really your scene; as much as you felt safe and accepted there you were also always awkward because you weren’t up to date on whatever issues and you tended to dislike organized groups in general. You did go every so often, though, and when you did it was nice to sit with your friends and whisper to each other like assholes at a movie theater (you did that too actually. You had started going out to movies with Rose, Kanaya, and Karkat and it was a lot of fun that you were kind of pissed at yourself for missing out on. Karkat would completely tear down any bad plot and Rose would talk about the most ridiculous character motivations that somehow made perfect sense and Kanaya would say the funniest fucking things way out of left field and act like she didn’t know what you meant when you cracked up).  Sometimes Gamzee would come to QSA, which was always fun. He would call everyone a motherfucker and then make them all hold hands.

 

You and Karkat got together at the end of sophomore year. You had hovered by his desk after the last bell of the day rang, waiting for him to put everything in his backpack.

“Hey,” you said. “Want to see a movie this weekend?”

“Sure,” he said. “I think Kanaya’s free, I’ll have her ask Rose.”

“No. I mean, maybe just us going to a movie?”

“Like a friendly movie outing?”

You were clenching your fists by your sides because he was making this deliberately difficult, you had finally gotten up the nerve to ask the guy out and he wasn’t getting the fucking hint.

“No, like a romantic movie outing. A date, if you will. An act of courtship.” Before you can keep spouting synonyms, he interrupts.

“A date.”

“Yes.”

“With you.”

“Yes.”

At this point you were pretty much certain you were going to die and you just wanted him to get on with it and turn you down already.

“Right, I just thought you would never actually ask me that because you are way out of my league,” he said.

Oh.

“Oh. That really isn’t true.”

“So a date.”

“A date,” you repeated.

“Jesus Christ,” said Vriska, who sat directly behind Karkat and had been sick of both of your bullshit for the entire year. “I’ve been sick of your bullshit for the entire fucking year. Please just go on a date already and leave the rest of us out of it.”

“Right.”

“Yeah.”

You went out to a movie that weekend but you barely remembered any of it because you were holding hands with Karkat the entire time. You put up the armrest between you and leaned against each other and made fun of the characters and threw popcorn at the people who were committing the crime of talking while being less cool than you. You went back to Karkat’s afterward, because he didn’t have a nosy sister that would be laughing at you and ruining your date. You fell asleep on his bed, which was much more comfortable than the couch, wrapped around each other. You kissed a little bit in the morning before realizing that you both really needed to brush your teeth.

 

It was great. Everything was great. You held hands a lot and made fun of people together and were arrogant that you were the superior couple (even though that wasn’t actually true because Rose and Kanaya were basically married by that point). You finished an album together that made 24 whole dollars on your Bandcamp. He helped you dye your hair, with not quite disastrous results. He had to wear braces for the second time in his life, which he complained about constantly. Neither of you failed any classes.

Sophomore year ended and summer started and you had a lot more time to just hang out. The six of you were at the park, just lying on the grass. You were holding hands with Karkat and Rose was holding hands with Kanaya and John and Jade were poking each other with pieces of grass. A soft breeze picked through the trees nearby, and clouds passed overhead, blocking the sun just enough that it didn’t hurt to look up. Grass was itching the back of your neck and there was a patch of daisies near your right shoe, the whole day smelled like plants and it was the perfect type of warm where you weren’t sweating yet. You were absolutely sure that this was the happiest you’d ever been.


End file.
